For it is by grace you have been saved,
through faith –
and this is not from yourselves,
it is the gift of God
Ephesians 2:8
What the Devil was doing in the first seven days.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 5:28 PM
Heylo GOLDs! i find this article especially funny and it gives a brief description on what Satan is exactly doing in our lives. Love, Ann.
The story of creation with an unhealthy serving of deep-fried potatoes. Adapted from the Reader's Digest.
RECENTLY, someone asked me if people in Asia were less decisive than people in the west. "I think I'm decisive," I replied. "But I'm not really sure." The reason he asked was that he'd noticed Western ways of thinking clearly seperated opposing forces such as good and evil, while Eastern ways of thinking tried to balance them in a yin and yang fashion.
The comment intrigued me. That very morning I'd given a talk at a school and asked the children to give me their version of the story of the creation. The youngster carefully balanced the roles of God and the Devil. We ended up solving alot of mysteries.
Now most people know the tale of what God did in his first seven days, but after talking to young people in Asia, I can now exclusively reveal what the devil was up to that first week.
In the beginning God created the heaven and earth. And the earth was without form and void.And God made a circular light in the heavens, and he called it the Sun. And God saw that it was good. And the Devil made a smaller light, rectangular in shape, and he called it TV. And the Devil saw that the light was bad.
And God made springs which came out of the ground, oozing fountains of pure, fresh water. And God saw that the water was good. And the Devil invented fizzy drinks. And saw the fizzy drinks was bad.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth vegetables and the herb of the field, that the children may grow up healthy. And it was so. And the Devil said, Ket there be deep-fried potatoes.
And God said, let the waters bring forth 10,000 varieties of fish, that they may provide sustenance for the children. And the Devil arranged that the fish be smothered in batter, deep fried, and served with deep-fried potatoes.
And God created the cattlle of the field, and said, Behold, I have given you every living creature that moveth; to you it shall be for meat. And the Devil showed how meat could be minced and turned into burgers, and suggesteth that it will always be served with deep-fried potatoes.
And one the seventh day, God rested and asked that his children rest too, and use the day to comtemplate the wonders of creation. And the Devil created the all-day brunch, cartoon TV channels, and Sunday newspapers filled with articles about celebrities, that the minds of the children be filled with rubbish and bodies filled with yet mire deep-fried potatoes.
And God said to the boy, take the girl and go forth and multiply. And of your seed i shall make a great nation, as numverless as the stars of heavens. And the Devil invented the computer and recruited 10,000 demons to fill it with online battles and image of top-heavy women. And the boy did part with the girl and did instead cleave to the computer.
And God pointed out to the girl that he had made her with many attractive blandishments which she could use whenever the boy was away from the computer. And the Devil invented nintendo DS Lite, PSP etc, so that the boy will be able to take computer games with him wherever he goes. Now the serpent was more subtle than any of the aninals that God has created. And the Devil did enter into the serpent and cause him to say to the girl and the boy, the tree in the middle of the garden the Lord hath told you not to touch. But i say unto you, if you eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, your eyes will be opened and you shall be as gods.
And the boy and the girl looked at the serpent and said unto him: No thanks. We liketh not fruit. But hast thou any deep-fried potatoes?
And here endeth today's scripture reading. Amen.
LOLS, the serpent definitely got what he deserved aye? Hope you boys learn something from here. :D Computer games are detrimental to your life.
P.S Let's all continue to pray for Shirley that she will recover from her illness. She is going to have a minor surgery on 18 May and she's starting to consume her stomach medicine. The medicine is to keep the tumor that is growing in her stomach small and to reduce pain. So do keep her in your prayers! (:
P.SS Guess what? Bernard and his school band won a SILVER medal in SYF. Let's give him an applause! Congrats, Bernard! :D
The story of creation with an unhealthy serving of deep-fried potatoes. Adapted from the Reader's Digest.
RECENTLY, someone asked me if people in Asia were less decisive than people in the west. "I think I'm decisive," I replied. "But I'm not really sure." The reason he asked was that he'd noticed Western ways of thinking clearly seperated opposing forces such as good and evil, while Eastern ways of thinking tried to balance them in a yin and yang fashion.
The comment intrigued me. That very morning I'd given a talk at a school and asked the children to give me their version of the story of the creation. The youngster carefully balanced the roles of God and the Devil. We ended up solving alot of mysteries.
Now most people know the tale of what God did in his first seven days, but after talking to young people in Asia, I can now exclusively reveal what the devil was up to that first week.
In the beginning God created the heaven and earth. And the earth was without form and void.And God made a circular light in the heavens, and he called it the Sun. And God saw that it was good. And the Devil made a smaller light, rectangular in shape, and he called it TV. And the Devil saw that the light was bad.
And God made springs which came out of the ground, oozing fountains of pure, fresh water. And God saw that the water was good. And the Devil invented fizzy drinks. And saw the fizzy drinks was bad.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth vegetables and the herb of the field, that the children may grow up healthy. And it was so. And the Devil said, Ket there be deep-fried potatoes.
And God said, let the waters bring forth 10,000 varieties of fish, that they may provide sustenance for the children. And the Devil arranged that the fish be smothered in batter, deep fried, and served with deep-fried potatoes.
And God created the cattlle of the field, and said, Behold, I have given you every living creature that moveth; to you it shall be for meat. And the Devil showed how meat could be minced and turned into burgers, and suggesteth that it will always be served with deep-fried potatoes.
And one the seventh day, God rested and asked that his children rest too, and use the day to comtemplate the wonders of creation. And the Devil created the all-day brunch, cartoon TV channels, and Sunday newspapers filled with articles about celebrities, that the minds of the children be filled with rubbish and bodies filled with yet mire deep-fried potatoes.
And God said to the boy, take the girl and go forth and multiply. And of your seed i shall make a great nation, as numverless as the stars of heavens. And the Devil invented the computer and recruited 10,000 demons to fill it with online battles and image of top-heavy women. And the boy did part with the girl and did instead cleave to the computer.
And God pointed out to the girl that he had made her with many attractive blandishments which she could use whenever the boy was away from the computer. And the Devil invented nintendo DS Lite, PSP etc, so that the boy will be able to take computer games with him wherever he goes. Now the serpent was more subtle than any of the aninals that God has created. And the Devil did enter into the serpent and cause him to say to the girl and the boy, the tree in the middle of the garden the Lord hath told you not to touch. But i say unto you, if you eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, your eyes will be opened and you shall be as gods.
And the boy and the girl looked at the serpent and said unto him: No thanks. We liketh not fruit. But hast thou any deep-fried potatoes?
And here endeth today's scripture reading. Amen.
LOLS, the serpent definitely got what he deserved aye? Hope you boys learn something from here. :D Computer games are detrimental to your life.
P.S Let's all continue to pray for Shirley that she will recover from her illness. She is going to have a minor surgery on 18 May and she's starting to consume her stomach medicine. The medicine is to keep the tumor that is growing in her stomach small and to reduce pain. So do keep her in your prayers! (:
P.SS Guess what? Bernard and his school band won a SILVER medal in SYF. Let's give him an applause! Congrats, Bernard! :D
In God's awesome ♥
GO(L)D 90 FMadj. God our "Lao Da" (awesome Dad in the sky)
1. WEFC
2. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen year olds.
3. Fuel Miracles, Fishers of Men (Yes, that would be what the FM stands for, love)
4. There is no love but in God alone
GO(L)D 90FM
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Set our sights in Him
Colossians 3:12-1712Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
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